i really can't concentrate anymore,
in anything important.
not in calculus, not in church
people like noel make me feel ashamed that i can't work any harder
haha i think i should probably be studying right now
but i hate math :( and i'm bad at it
and i've kinda just given up.
congratulations, calculus. you win.
there are so many things i have to do
plan the yearbook party (no one wants to offer their house and we have to buy their presents T_T by this weekend.)
do my dante project (i really haven't thought about it all wekeend)
study for calculus T_T
i'm so tired.
and sometimes i feel like my friends are mad at me
or something :(
and i know you hate him (FOR NO GOOD REASON) but i'm tired of arguing about it
if he weren't so awkward about it, prom wouldn't be half as stressful as it is
there is way too much to think about, i think my brain is going to blow up T_T
i'm kinda hoping that wednesday, noon, all my problems will be over
i'll be home free
no more calculus, all i have to worry about is acing that history final and studying mega hard for biology, heck i'll even pay attention in class bcus i won't be worried about calc
i'll (hopefully) have a prom dress by wednesday night
and plans in terms of preprom stuff
but no. bcus i still have a crappy grade in the class
and i'm going to have to work on persuading mr silk meister to let me raise it :(
i'm definitely a failure at school
i'm never getting into a good college D:
edit:
you say, you say that we're all tied up and wrapped around in useless,
useless states of mind
but at the same time we're still young
we have the time to realize the we were wrong
i wish i could sing
i think. i have problems expressing my thoughts and emotions coherently.
and i've been way too impatient and frustrated with way too many people lately
i've been a mega bitch and a big fat whiner to a lot of people who really care about me
i'm very tired, and very scared, and very sorry
i have decided that i complain the most when i'm with the people i believe can make me the happiest.
after all, they're the ones who make it all better, right?
i suppose sometimes i could be wrong though
one of my biggest fears is loving too much. or rather, loving more than i am loved back.
it's rather selfish to want more love than to give
but we're all a little selfish aren't we.
i guess i'd want to love the same. and unconditionally and infinitely.
i want to love perfectly
a;lsdfjk'lgrjk
i wish i could call him and talk for hours about nothing.
he's one of those people i never get mad at
and could probably make any crappy day an alright day
even if he's being a stupidface
it's hard to find friends like that
and i'm very thankful
he means a lot to me
but i wonder what i mean to him
HAHA!
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