MANLY POINTER

i srsly have to stop spending so much money on food. i've eaten out at least once a day for the past like WEEK T_T
and i feel really fat.

eguhhhgfg

althoughhh my grades aren't that great
i feel really good right now

spring fever/senioritis(junioritis) D:

so today:
1. we were discussing amy tan in class and i decided that i couldn't really say anything during class bcus mr. hanlon was looking at this story from such a foreign point of view but to me, (and ryan and winny etc) it was too familiar. haahha
"your baby was 5lb? MINE WAS 6."
"america with citizens who can't tell a good analogy from a bad one is like....people who think i'm philippino. I'M CHINESE."
"gatsby feels really sad even though he's got that HUGE ASS HOUSE. i mean really big."
"yeeeeh her dress is like the sandals those annoying kids in chinatown wear that squeak whenever they walk."
"OHHH CRAP I WROTE AN ANALOG."
-ryan tam is so eloquent :P
2. deniz and i waved at some firemen and they waved back :D
3. EMILY CHOWW :) we love you.
4. simi showed me a picture of a naked mole rat that was captioned like this:

This is a naked mole rat, native to Africa. So remember, if you're ever having a bad day, at least you don't look like a penis with buckteeth."

it was during bio, my reaction was quite unfortunate.

i'm going to miss dr harleys class sooo much :P

ANYWAYS I MUST GO STUDY FOR BIOLOGY.

cracking JUNIOR YEAR

why is it that i feel so overwhelmed with just 8 days to go?
:(
1. mathematica
2. graduation article/page
3. history extra credit
4. prepare for english inclass essay?? (i think he plots ways to drag down our grade at the very end of the semester T_T)
5. prepare for end of year optional test in biology (hoping this will RAISE my grade??)
6. link application
7. schedule and outline yearbook meeting for wednesday and figure out food for 40 people D:
8. APSA PROJECT??
9. study for the bio SAT
10. eat some froyo
11. die.

the END
asdjflg
JIAYOU JIAYOUU

but on the other hand i'm pretty excited for summer! despite the fact that summer also means report cards x_x

and also, we're definitely officially seniors.
are you ready, '09? :))

tentative summer plan!
work with a relief/mission team in sichuan, china. PRAY HARD, STEFFO.
i want to go so bad, pleaseee God.

ALDJSFNGKAKJSDASFPOIEIRWUKSJFSDKFKFrijaiesjrfkg
oh and working at harker might not work D:<
annoyed.

ALMOST THERE.

你说。。。

你感觉到你整个生活都知道我。那为什么我感觉我真的不懂你？我们 应该是最好的朋友，不是吗？我应该什么事都能告诉你，但是我每次都不敢打你的电话。还有呢，你也不告诉我你的事情，你的心痛。我愿意了解你，原意帮你。你什么事都能告诉我, 你知道马？
我觉得我们的友谊很浅。
我们两个一起真的很笨。
我们不在一起的 时间就是你最想念我的时候。让我觉得你看不到我的时候，你才想到我。但是现在，
我好想念你。
我也想念我们以前的友谊。

P: "我希望你每天起床的时候都知道你在一个人的心上。"
对我每一个朋友，你们应该知道吧 :)

edit:
there is a huge moskito in the bathroom.
that's how ana spells it :/

REPLAY

simi: "he said he really, really, really, really, liked me"
deniz: o___o "omg that's like, one really away from love!"

:D

but everyone is telling me it's not just black and white.

GRADUATION was today :)
i'm so so proud of the class of '08 and i will miss them SO much :( it's been a good 4 years together :)
in a year, that's going to be us :(
already scared.

other than nostalgia, i also felt very very cold this morning :/
deniz called me around 7:20 and said "i'm on my way!" so i told her to wait ten minutes and rolled out of bed.
by 7:50 we were at simi's house and by 8:02 we were eating bagels at the store across the street.
AND SO tianna and i spent two hours at the top of the callbox taking notes and photographing grad
and it is unbelievably COLD and WINDY up there my notes look really bad :(
afterwards we put everything away and came back to take photos with the new grads! :)
we went to johnnyrockets later and ran into won and erin and their mommy :)
we bought mr pandich a puzzle book and then
...i dunno did random things.
and THEN i got kicked out of deniz's car :) HAHA
i found some sick shades at pacsun.
sean asked me, if he bought them for me if i'd wear them everyday.
and i so would.

mai and i made it our summer goal to be pretty.
:D bahahaha

HELLO PAUL!

SHINee

is so cute!
esp taemin :)
even though he's like 14. his dance moves are baller and so are his shoes.
his smile is so charmingg <3
and i don't feel like a pedofile bcus...their debut song is for their noonas.
that'd be me.
CLICK ME :D
i don't think they're supah studly (yet) but it's catchy!
and victoria song is soo pretty :)

TIME TO DO DA DANCING.

bleghkl my tummy kinda hurts.

we went to yogurtland today and i saw alexkim's friends (and emchow's godbrother)
these two groups almost got in a fight
and now sim is like o__o asian gangstas?? BAHAHAH
so stupid T_T
anyways. yogurtland is bomb <3

grad is tomorrow.
:( i'll miss them!

bahh!! i'm so excited for this summer. !

0. '09 JUNIOR PARTAYY
1. EUROPE
2. HK
3. CHINA/KOREA/JAPAN/SINGAPORE (we'll see about the last three, it all depends on my daddy)
4. HARKER (working with fob kids for moneyz?? yayy :D)

i can't wait to leaveee :))
aldsk :D

i was watching the last EP of BSM but then i got bored :/

at lunch we were talking about whether or not you could see a hole. which is the absence of matter. and daniel says you can but the others say you can't. so can you see darkness?
they said no, it's the absence of light.
so then i asked if you could feel hate, the absence of love and brian proceeded to glare at me:
"CAN YOU FEEL IT??"
jerk.
i think you can though, it's the absence of God.

be hopeful.

at the moment....
i'm at one of those low points of junior year
even though as of tonight, we're officially seniors and there are only two weeks left in the academic year...
it seems like everything that could go wrong is
and i'm so tired of it

1. what the hell am i thinking, i'm in the same situation i was in months ago and it's getting ridiculous
i feel like a retard and now i know
it's definitely not worth it
2. i left my drawing portfolio outside and i was hella distracted and just left and now i have no idea where it is
3. steven curtis chapman's daughter died :/
4. my chapstick (which makes my lips tingly) melted while it was lying horizontally and then hardened and now it's STUPID shaped and i can barely use it D:<
5. my favorite teacher just announced to me that he's moving to seattle. i kinda just wanted to bawl right there in front of him in that empty classroom. he had to explain it to me really carefully and slowly and i felt kind of retarded because i had problems comprehending it...he told me he wanted to tell me personally because i had asked him to write my college recommendation....
and for some selfish reason, i feel kind of angry. that he decides now, that i can't take the two classes i signed up for, and that the underclassmen will never get to have him as a teacher.
and inside, i almost wished he waited a year to get married. just so he could stay to see us graduate.
6. i'm a jerk to my friends
7. this biology lab is frustrating me to no end
8. the fact that school is virtually useless yet we still have to go and for the first time in like two weeks, i have hw and i'm not in the mood to do it.
9. i hate my prom picture and i hate my face
10. i miss God.

I CAN'T WAIT TO GET OUT

he said "listen to your heart and find your own path" as advice to the seniors
everyone says that and it makes sense
but how the HELL do you know what it's saying T_T

b: jealously guard your heart
yes yes yes.
that seems like the hardest thing in the world when you can't even trust yourself


God is good all the time and all the time God is good...
(repeat repeat repeat)

我觉得。。。

我现在很烦。。。因为我根本都不懂他。
我怎么知道他在想什么？谁知道读男生有怎么难 T_T
上一次，我已经了解了，已经包容了。现在呢？我怎么相信他？
我每天也有一点伤心，我 应该是他的最好的朋友，不是吗？
我对他就是一个backup巴。
我一点也不了解他。

edit:
i am quite possibly the laziest person....ever.

but i mean, school is kind of useless now
and i'm tired of going T_T

you really suck D:<

together NE-YO

please don't believe the rumors :(

edit:
regatta was not as fun as it could have been
they split up our advisory :( (colletti's cool crew!) which was supah lame
anyways i kinda fell asleep :/

b: sometimes love sucks...it hurts like a bitch
b: SORRY
b: but what about the good times?
b: you hafta be willing to put yourself back out there
b: make yourself vulnerable
b: and you never know what could happen
b: its the scariest thing in the world but its also the most beautiful thing in the world
b: if you're always scared of getting burned by someone
b: how will you ever be happy?

this makes sense.

shogunate pie.

i'm sleepy but i have to study for bio :(

JUNIOR REGATTA TOMORROW :))
i'm pretty excited.

so i decided i'm relationally incompetent as eric puts it, last week i rated myself as a 7 on competence but i'm more like.....4 or something :/
love does not envy, it does not boast
yet everyone seems to say that there has to be a certain degree of jealousy and over protectiveness to show you care?
bleh -__-

i feel like i haven't done enough work this weekend lol -_-

and because this entry was so pointless
i will now include

a list of five random things about myself.

1. i like to read answers.yahoo.com
2. i hate when people leave the cereal boxes open
3. i like to put on carmex bcus it makes my lips all tingly :)
4. i trust people really easily and i value sincerity
5. i hate deleting text messages to much that i have to delete one every time just to make room for incoming ones.

i, i , i
so selfish :(

UNTIL TOMORROWW

PINK TUX TO THE PROM

"I HAFF AN IDEA O_O"-elena zlatagorov

so everytime i go to my page with the intention of writing a new entry, i start listening to the song on my page and then i forget :/
it's good, right? haahha
i want someone to play it for me :)
eshdfk
we went to guitar center to buy janchan a guitar and i went all :B over guitar players again T_T
i'd have to say that the piano is pretty attractive too :)

TALENT SHOW TODAY :) it was fun even without the AC
so hot :(

i have to take the bio test tomorrow :(
with ms. zlatagorov :D HEEEHEHEHE

we handed out yearbooks today during class, to the teachers
deniz and i were walking back when she saw cute person and she said
OMG THERE'S _____ ACT NORMAL
and then i proceeded to do an exceedingly embarassing dance.

PROM PROM PROM DRAMA=PRAMA. by rahul.
i'm excited for prom
not really for pre-prom and i wish there was a post prom.
but for now, i really have to go study sex, pregnancy, and childbirth.
FAREWELL :D

secret #1.
when i was a freshman, i found a blog on a senior friend's myspace and it talked about how her guy friend had come to her house at 2 or 3 in the morning and whisked her away to the beach
they watched the sunrise and came back just in time before her parents woke up
since then
i've always wanted to do that T_T

FLYING MAN.

WHAT A uasdoilFREAKING SICK PHOTO
liuxiang 刘翔 MY HERO

lol dr j is making us do these stupid projects on the olympics so i did mine on track supah star LIU XIANG, WHAT A BEAST.

i want to meet him.

for the races, if you just wanna skip to the goods :D :
(2:50)
(00:45)

BEIJING SUMMER 2008 PLEASE. <3 :B

"this is SOOO fun"*

i'd have to say that this party was quite fun, i'm going to miss the seniors :(
it was a really nice day.

i definitely had a lot to write but now i'm not in the mood.

today in church, we talked about relationships, (the first of a series)
kinda like what i talked about sometime last week, i mean eric talked about how God was the starting point of love. biblical/Godly/agape love is God-generated and to love correctly is to understand and be loved by Him.
lol eric talked about exactly what i was thinking about, look to give love, not to receive. i have some work to do :/
and of course,
firstcorinthians chapter 13, that's how to love.
love never fails

i had a lot of firsts this weekend but i'll write about that later.
i'm happy.

BUTTFACE

paul the pawsome panda.

noel, YOU ARE SO WRONG -____-
:)

i think i really dislike the mall.
i went shopping today for the seniors :)) hahaha
liu xiang is such a beast. i wish i could run like him T_T
my grades need to ^

so the other day we were watching "the miracle of life" and at the scene with a digital rendition of that lone sperm that reaches the egg, dr harley stands up and points at the egg
"look! you can see some sperm that didn't make it in. HAH!!! LOSERSSS."
:D
mr. silk made us care packages with food and candy and a pencil for good luck on the AP! :))
apparently, someone wrote a note that said "stop breaking the donuts in half, either eat it all or NONE" in the teachers lounge after someone had been taking only half a donut. so mr fowler goes and breaks one in half
:B
MY TEACHERS ARE AMAZING.

what do you call a booger with a helmet?





A SNAIL LOOOL :B
(mr colletti's joke :D)

i love AP weeks. sooo chill :P

SUJU-M & CELLPHONE.

JANET EMILY NOEL MEGAN <3
bahaha comments make me smile :)
and yes em, you should join the trend :)

"my blog is full of crap"
"but interesting crap!"

so atm, it is semi-late and
to be honest, i'm not even doing anything useful
i really really want to see super junior m perform on that nathan/haoming dancing show on hunan again even though i saw it on the weekend and it just started and suju-m hasn't gone yet and also,
my phone is charging atm and i charge it in the bathroom.
and i don't like to go to bed without my phone bcus it's my alarm clock.
and that is why i'm up at almost 1.
i'd say those are pretty good reasons

the calc final was easier than i expected.
prom dress shopping was harder than i expected -____-
prom is so overrated.

i ran into a lot of unexpected people, people from my elementary school, from harker middle school, my pastor o___o

anyways,
1. ALLERGIES SUCK
2. MY BEST FRIEND COMES BACK TO SCHOOL TOMORROW
3. i have a sekrit :) actually it's megan's secret but she said i could tell sim and ana so for now it's still my secret :))
4. this is a terribly pointless post

"If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together.. there is something you must always remember. you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. but the most important thing is, even if we're apart...I'll always be with you." --Winnie the Pooh

courtesy of dkim :)
thanks <3

TONIGHT

email dr jahshaun check
email mr silk check
study for AP calc
do my dante project
read yearbook apps check
call the children
send evite for the party check
figure out the gifts
regular homework check

READY SET GO.

i've got a heart condition.

the spiritually adrift kind :/

i really can't concentrate anymore,
in anything important.
not in calculus, not in church

people like noel make me feel ashamed that i can't work any harder
haha i think i should probably be studying right now
but i hate math :( and i'm bad at it
and i've kinda just given up.
congratulations, calculus. you win.

there are so many things i have to do
plan the yearbook party (no one wants to offer their house and we have to buy their presents T_T by this weekend.)
do my dante project (i really haven't thought about it all wekeend)
study for calculus T_T

i'm so tired.

and sometimes i feel like my friends are mad at me
or something :(
and i know you hate him (FOR NO GOOD REASON) but i'm tired of arguing about it
if he weren't so awkward about it, prom wouldn't be half as stressful as it is
there is way too much to think about, i think my brain is going to blow up T_T

i'm kinda hoping that wednesday, noon, all my problems will be over
i'll be home free
no more calculus, all i have to worry about is acing that history final and studying mega hard for biology, heck i'll even pay attention in class bcus i won't be worried about calc
i'll (hopefully) have a prom dress by wednesday night
and plans in terms of preprom stuff

but no. bcus i still have a crappy grade in the class
and i'm going to have to work on persuading mr silk meister to let me raise it :(

i'm definitely a failure at school
i'm never getting into a good college D:

edit:
you say, you say that we're all tied up and wrapped around in useless,
useless states of mind
but at the same time we're still young
we have the time to realize the we were wrong

i wish i could sing

i think. i have problems expressing my thoughts and emotions coherently.
and i've been way too impatient and frustrated with way too many people lately
i've been a mega bitch and a big fat whiner to a lot of people who really care about me
i'm very tired, and very scared, and very sorry
i have decided that i complain the most when i'm with the people i believe can make me the happiest.
after all, they're the ones who make it all better, right?
i suppose sometimes i could be wrong though
one of my biggest fears is loving too much. or rather, loving more than i am loved back.
it's rather selfish to want more love than to give
but we're all a little selfish aren't we.
i guess i'd want to love the same. and unconditionally and infinitely.
i want to love perfectly

a;lsdfjk'lgrjk

i wish i could call him and talk for hours about nothing.
he's one of those people i never get mad at
and could probably make any crappy day an alright day
even if he's being a stupidface
it's hard to find friends like that
and i'm very thankful
he means a lot to me
but i wonder what i mean to him

















HAHA!

:D

i feel immensely proud that 4 of my photos got pf-ed on facebook for some reason.
:B

edit:
omgeez i feel like no matter what we/i do it's wrong
i wonder if this is worth it.

pheromones

GOOD LUCK SENIORS!!
JUNIORS '09
:)

we got third. but i'm really proud of our class
we've grown a lot. and we're so much better than before.
i'm so ready for next year....

but

i'm not quite ready for baccalaureate and i'm not quite ready for the seniors to graduate. i am DEFINITELY not ready for calc on wednesday,

but i am so ready for
wednesday, 12:30
prom
summer (i'm in europe in a month and a week.)
sleep :)

everything kinda mushes together in terms of time, i wish i could just skip to the parts i want
i can't believe junior year is almost over -_- going through this year taught me a lot
but i can't imagine doing it again
sometimes, i think about the sophomores and how they have to go through it
then i laugh.

i wish i were at harker right now swimming in the pool with my friends
but no. mother says i cannot go T_T

BALJSDIFJOAISJDFAO HAVE TO PLAN PARTY or topher d will kill me

i'm in a contemplative mood
or maybe i'm just sleepy
sometimes i can't tell the difference

i feel like calling him but not really
i can't really think back to the last conversation we had on the phone
or maybe i can.

i want to go eat but i already brushed my teeth and put in my retainer. geez what a dilemma :/
i write "i" a lot.

I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE

simi is my darker half.

that is our boat!
yay!
LOL we got DQed again this year but i didn't really expect anything better. well fourth place would have been nice but i thought it was funny that the seniors got last T_T
BAH SOPHOMORES
we went down with style though

so i was looking at fb photos and thinking to myself
"wow, the class of '09 is ridiculously good looking."

I AM SO PUMPED FOR THE RALLY TOMORROW
YAYAYAYAAAA